Dillema

I'm getting married..
It's a bizzarre decision to make, I know but I mentally prepared (I think).
But now facing another problem, my parent dissapproving because I'm going to marry a man that has a different religion. a total FAMILY DRAMA is begin. another war that I have to fight and it's against my own parent.

Sometimes I'm questioning myself am I making the right decision, am I really ready but then I came to the point that every decision has a risk and this is the risk that I must take that I already been thinking about it for 7 years of our togetherness.

Sometimes I feel scared because i used to believe (I still do) that a parents approval and blessing is supposed to be a good luck charm and considered a good pray to every kids marriage and I didn't get that. You see how scary this is for me. But then again I start to think Objectively, my parent never get the chance to meet and known my future husband just his religion. If they dissaprove because of the person then I will reconsider but this is his religion. It just unfair for my boyfriend to be judge like that. It's like my parent counting egg before they hatch which is immature. Another reason that my parent used to be a different religion couple too (suprise, suprise) and somehow deep down in my heart I begin to feel that they just afraid of what other might think, that this is a karma for what they have done, not just because its forbidden from their religion believes.

Sometimes I also feel deppresed because I really don't want this to happen. this is not the kind of relation I want to have with my own parent which I so love. I never wish its ended up like this. Marriage (in my opinion) is one kind of passage for a person to become more mature, more responsible, more selfless, learn to sharing, caring, accepting, facing problem together, managing everything together and many other things which is I think must be embrace and everyone should celebrate and by celebrate I mean be happy about it. It took a leap of faith from everyone to make it work since its very challanging. But than again, you can't have everything in this world. So be it.

Hosh.. hosh..