Ngelihat video orang melahirkan

Jadi ceritanya semua dimulai ketika negara api menyerang.. #halah

Engga dink, semua dimulai ketika pada satu mata kuliah disuruh ngeliat video ibu2 partus (melahirkan).. geli2 serem pertamanya tapi lama2 jadi makin tertarik. Akhirnya searching2 sendiri di yutup.

Entah karena melahirkan adalah proses yg sangat2 luar biasa yang ga semua orang bisa mengalami atau karena saya bukan orang yg jijik ngeliat darah atau sayat menyayat (suer tp bukan psikopat) apalah itu yg jelas amaze aja sama semua proses itu baik yg spontan maupun yg SC. Baik yg water birth ato yg normal baik yg d rumah maupun yg di rumah sakit baik yg kembar maupun bukan..

Berkali2 saya sering bilang sama temen baik yg lg hamil maupun engga.. lihat deh video2 gituuu, penting buat kita cewe2 yang semoga nantinya bakal jd ibu kalo Tuhan mempercayakan... tapi entah kenapa jarang banget bahkan bisa di bilang engga ada yang mau dengan alasan ngeri, takut bikin trauma, serem (gendruwo kali serem), geli, takut darah dan sebagainya.

Normal sih tapi please be rational, kita lho butuuuuhhh (teriak desperate). Itu ilmu yg kita harus tau supaya kita tau kapan sesuatu itu nantinya berjalan salah. Misalnyaaa prosedur SC itu ibunya harus sadar selama proses kalo engga berarti ada yg salah, lalu ketika ketuban pecah itu hanya air, agak kental tp berwarna jernih cenderung putih ketika cairan hitam, ijo, kuning ato berdarah itu berarti ada yg salah dsb.. gitu loh banyaaaaak deh ilmu yg kita dapet dan kalo menurut saya sih itu juga justru memperkuat dan mempersiapkan kita kok untuk tahu prosedurnya bagaimana, apa2 saja yg d butuhkan, berapa lama sesuatu berlangsung dan kapan hal tsb sudah terlalu lama dan perlu ditindak lanjuti, bagaimana supaya bisa segera menyusui begitu selesai melahirkan baik yg SC maupun spontan dan lain2.. so c'mon.. ga nyesel kok.. its a miracle happen... :)

Dillema

I'm getting married..
It's a bizzarre decision to make, I know but I mentally prepared (I think).
But now facing another problem, my parent dissapproving because I'm going to marry a man that has a different religion. a total FAMILY DRAMA is begin. another war that I have to fight and it's against my own parent.

Sometimes I'm questioning myself am I making the right decision, am I really ready but then I came to the point that every decision has a risk and this is the risk that I must take that I already been thinking about it for 7 years of our togetherness.

Sometimes I feel scared because i used to believe (I still do) that a parents approval and blessing is supposed to be a good luck charm and considered a good pray to every kids marriage and I didn't get that. You see how scary this is for me. But then again I start to think Objectively, my parent never get the chance to meet and known my future husband just his religion. If they dissaprove because of the person then I will reconsider but this is his religion. It just unfair for my boyfriend to be judge like that. It's like my parent counting egg before they hatch which is immature. Another reason that my parent used to be a different religion couple too (suprise, suprise) and somehow deep down in my heart I begin to feel that they just afraid of what other might think, that this is a karma for what they have done, not just because its forbidden from their religion believes.

Sometimes I also feel deppresed because I really don't want this to happen. this is not the kind of relation I want to have with my own parent which I so love. I never wish its ended up like this. Marriage (in my opinion) is one kind of passage for a person to become more mature, more responsible, more selfless, learn to sharing, caring, accepting, facing problem together, managing everything together and many other things which is I think must be embrace and everyone should celebrate and by celebrate I mean be happy about it. It took a leap of faith from everyone to make it work since its very challanging. But than again, you can't have everything in this world. So be it.

Hosh.. hosh..